Body massage
There will always be times in a man's life that his wife will need his tender touch. This intimacy may lead to making love, or it may not. But then, sometimes, the wife may just want the intimacy but not the sex. Non-sexual body massage may work best for these situations, especially if you're dealing with a woman who's been victimized by abuse.
Tactile interaction is very, very important to all of us. A baby instinctively knows the safety in its mother's touch. The warmth, the care and the outstanding tenderness one may have for another can be expressed by a single touch alone. Attitude, trauma or damage may make a woman shy away from a man's touch even if the said man is her lawfully wedded husband. It is very essential then that you establish a way to make her comfortable with your presence and your touch.
Body massage works wonders
Many believe that body massage works wonders for establishing a better connection between husband and wife. It is better for traumatized women if it does not lead to sex. Not only does it relaxes her and puts her mind at ease, it will also make you feel better about yourself knowing that you've done something good for her.
Now, remember that it may take a while for her to totally relax and believe that you don't want sex from her. If she was severely traumatized, your wife will be very wary and distrusting. But don't be too depressed. If you persist and don't lose patience, you will eventually win.
Ready? First, make it clear to her that you're only just to going to do a body massage, wholly for her sake and not for yours. Emphasize that you don't expect to get anything in return. Impress upon her that you're happy with the fact that she's going to feel a whole lot better. Whatever happens, don't follow it up with sex! If you do, then she'll have a hard time trusting you the next time, won't she?
Aroused by the body massage
Keep in mind that you will become aroused by the body massage but you shouldn't let her know, lest she becomes threatened. Wear something that will cover you and make sure that it won't show anything.
Have her take a shower or a long hot bath. It'd be better if you prepared the bath for her. After the bath, have her lie face down on a towel or a thick blanket laid out on the floor. It would be better than a bed since you need a firm surface for the body massage. Put a small pillow for her head and place another one beneath her shins.
Pour the massage oil into your hands and warm it some. Start with her shoulders and work your way down her back slowly. Ask her what feels good and what does not. Also, pay attention to stiff and tensed areas and work them carefully. Move on to her thighs and legs. When you reach her feet, have her turn over and work your way back up.
Relaxed and happy with body massage
Since we are aiming to have her relaxed and happy, be sure to avoid her genitals. Don't leer or stare at it overmuch, since it might make her uncomfortable. Ask her permission first before working on her breasts. If she okays it, then continue with the body massage and tread slowly. If she refuses then respect her decision.
For the last part, finish the body massage by massaging her face gently. Also, be sure that you spent enough time on her hands and feet, since they are equally important.
Through all these, bear in mind that relaxation is your primary goal. If you're unsure about your skills, try going to the library and reading up some material on body massages. You can even try to get some tips from a masseuse or a physical therapist. In addition, pay extra attention to the massage oil you're going to use. You might want to use a lightly scented oil to put her senses into an even better mood. After the body massage, lie next to her and hug her, taking care not to make her notice if you are aroused. Tell her you love her, don't be shy. That would be your best gift to her, the body massage just a bonus.
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